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How to Shop For Clothes Without Being a Dick*

*I'm coining a Smaggle-ism with this phrase - being a dick.  In the UK, we'd probably say "don't be a cock", but I'm not sure that works as well over in Aus, so a dick it is!


Although I have only minimal experience on the "other side" of the counter, I do have a LOT of experience of being a customer.  I like to shop and I like to try on clothes, even when I know I'm unlikely to buy them - it's nice to try on new stuff and I'm hoping this confession doesn't single me out as some kind of weirdo....

It occurred to me recently that a lot of women don't seem to know how to shop for clothes without being, well, a bit of a dick.  Here are my top five pointers to ensure that you don't veer into dick-territory when you're enjoying a little retail therapy.

Don't leave clothes on the floor.  Is this really so difficult?  The sales assistant is not your mum.  You don't leave clothes on the floor in your closet (at least, I assume you don't, unless you're like twelve years old) so why would you do it in a store?  I don't think assistants expect you to rehang everything perfectly and put them back, but leaving them inside out and screwed up on the floor is not ok.

If you or your kids spill something, tell the sales assistant.  This is the oddest thing ever.  Did you think the shop girl isn't going to notice the huge coke puddle in the fitting rooms? There are paper towels and mops in every shop - it takes just a second to get it cleaned up unless lots of people walk through it, then it's gonna take a lot longer.  Oh, and if you use treats to get your kids to behave whilst you're shopping (don't we all?) then at the least don't let them stick their lolly wrappers to the carpet and wipe their fingers on the mirrors.

Take your rubbish with you. I used the Sportsgirl fitting rooms recently and was thrilled to find a dirty nappy in the corner.  What the hell is that all about?  Ok, so it's weird enough that you changed a nappy in a clothes shop, but how difficult is it to shove the nappy under the pram and dump it in a bin outside?

Another example - some left a half drank ice coffee in our shop recently.  Just bizarre.

Give other customers a little personal space.  Look, I know that we've both zoomed in on the 50% off rack in Witchery and can see that there are many bargains to be had.  But I don't appreciate you breathing down my neck and reaching over me to get to something you've spotted.  It's the shopping equivalent of tail-gating and is just as annoying.  Back off, bargain-hunter, or you've got a fight on your hands.

Keep your knickers on!  I can't quite believe I'm going to have to tell this story, but tell it I will.

My local (recently re-vamped) Kmart has lovely big fitting rooms but NO attendant.  If you want to take in 50 pairs of jeans then apparently you are more than welcome to.

I was in a fitting room, trying on some striped tops (did I mention I'm on a mission to wear more stripes this winter?) when a group of what sounded like 3 or 4 teenage girls came in.   One of them said "so, do I leave my knickers on when I try on the bikini or not?".

Oh, My, God.

"NOOOO!!!!" came the universally agreed cry from her girlfriends.

"It won't sit right", said one.

"Why the hell would you leave them on?", said another.

Then the one with half a brain queried if it was hygienic to take them off.  Bikini Girl, who had obviously left her half brain at home said "oh, yeh, other people may have had their sweaty bits in it already - eeewwwww".

Oh, My, God.

It is never ok to take your knickers off in a fitting room. 

I didn't buy the striped tops - it kind of put me off a little.

What's the worst thing you've experienced whilst shopping for clothes?

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  1. I can't believe someone left a dirty nappy on the change room floor! Hopefully it was an oversight and they didn't realise!
    As for the undies, not even going there!

  2. God, some people are feral - what they get up to behind closed doors! I've had curtains opened on me, listened to incessant yammering and screeching of spoiled teenagers to the point where I've nearly stuck my head out and said "DON'T SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT!" but the worst thing I've documented here:

  3. You so do not want to visit Primark in Manchester (UK).. All of the above and more.

    1. Haha well I'm originally from Birmingham so the Bull Ring Primark is probably a close second! Primark has a special clientele all of its own :)

  4. OMG to the dirty nappy and well all the rest.

  5. Bahaha this is hilarious! Oh the stories I could tell from my years in retail and I've worked from K-mart to Peppermint Grove....... feral is feral regardless of postcode!!
    So glad I don't work in retail anymore, did I mention I've also worked in menswear........ enough said!

  6. Unfortunately none of this surprises me. How sad is that?
    Aaaah the great unwashed public. Gotta love 'em ... NOT!
    As my father in law says ... "The more I sees of people ... the more I likes dogs!" x


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